


A Monster Begot Upon Itself

by blue_pointer



Series: A Glorious Retelling [48]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: A Wild Fusaka Appears, Advice, Ank'Harel, Canon Backstory, Canon Timeline, Cerulean Palace, Cockblocking, Cute Vex, Don't copy to another site, Episode: c01e065 The Streets of Ank'Harel, F/M, Flirting, Give It Away, Guilt, Intel, Jarett Said Hell No, Jealousy, Keyleth is trying to be a good dad, M/M, Mean Girl Vax, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Jarett Howarth, Minor Shaun Gilmore/Vax'ildan, POV Vax'ildan, Petty Vax, Polyamory Negotiations, Scarlet Prison, Shandal, Stop trying to be slick, Stupid Handsome Jarett, Twins, Vax Is a Shady Bitch, Vaxmore, bisexual disaster vax'ildan, chaperone, polycule, relationship drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28932153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_pointer/pseuds/blue_pointer
Summary: In which Vex flirts with Jarett to learn more about Marquet, and Vax is bad at sharing Gilmore.
Relationships: Jarett Howarth/Vex'ahlia, Keyleth/Vax/Shaun Gilmore
Series: A Glorious Retelling [48]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1975831
Comments: 11
Kudos: 10





	A Monster Begot Upon Itself

**Author's Note:**

> "But jealous souls will not be answered so.  
> They are not ever jealous for the cause,  
> But jealous for they're jealous. It is a monster.  
> Begot upon itself, born on itself."
> 
> Othello III.iv

Vax was worried about Gilmore. He truly looked...bad. He’d hardly seemed to care about his appearance at all just now. Surely that wasn’t just because Vax had said he’d be focused on Keyleth for a time. Not that it boosted Vax’ildan’s ego at all to see his absence had affected Gilmore to this extent or anything. 

But even Kiki had been concerned. And if she was generous enough to show concern for her rival, surely it was alright for Vax to do so. As they walked out, he spied Sherri, Gilmore’s sassy store clerk, approaching. If anyone really knew what was going on with Gilmore, it would be Sherri. 

After she’d closed the gate behind her, Sherri looked up and saw them. “Oh, hello, everyone. I’m just bringing Gilmore his breakfast.” She didn’t seem to want to chit-chat, but Vax had some questions. Was Gilmore so weak now that other people had to bring him food? Or was this normal? Vax couldn’t remember Sherri bringing Gilmore food before, but then, he rarely stayed for breakfast.

“Sherri.” Vax tried to take a gentle approach, turning up the charm. He knew full well the bespectacled clerk hated his guts. “We asked him, but he’s modest. How’s he doing?” At least they had caring for Gilmore in common.

She paused, looking down. “Not that he’d tell me anything, but he doesn’t have long--he can’t keep this up without probably collapsing like he did back in the city.” She looked up at Vax. “Just please, try...do your best to get this over with. I’m worried at the very least until Allura gets back. At least then they can share the load.” Sherri turned away and walked past them into the house, calling out for Gilmore. 

Vax mulled this over while Grog talked with the others about keeping lots of water on hand in Marquet. If Sherri was scared for Gilmore...she wouldn’t exaggerate. Gilmore himself had told Vax he couldn’t sleep as long as the barrier had to be maintained. That scared Vax. She’d said Gilmore might collapse the way he had after Thordak had nearly killed him. Just from a spell. 

Vax glanced up at the blue dome of the barrier. Did they really need it? Sure, earlier this week they had. But all the time? Even when the dragon wasn’t headed their way? Sacrificing Gilmore “just in case” seemed a high price to pay. 

Vax came back to the conversation just in time to congratulate Grog on having a good idea for once. If Marquet was really as water-hungry as Gilmore had indicated, giving away water would go a long way toward getting them what they needed. Then Grog referenced a bawdy old tavern song--one too racy even for Scanlan--and Vex’ahlia took off in distaste. 

Vax followed his sister, compelled to chaperone any alone time she might get with Jarett. That Jarett. He was trouble. Capturing the fancy of two of the people Vax loved most. That was not okay. 

They found him on guard duty at an overlook point on the way to the castle, looking effortlessly cool, as always. Vax hated him a little. Of course, Jarett saw them approaching and called out to them, “Friends, you have returned. I hope all is well on your end. Can I be of service?” 

_Yeah,_ Vax thought. _You can stay away from Gilmore._

His sister’s smile was too wide. “You can tell us all about where you’re from, actually. Did you leave Marquet a long time ago?” 

Jarett didn’t look crazy about the subject. “It was maybe ten, nine years ago, and it was not under the best terms. Probably would be in jail had I not got away.” Ah, so he was a criminal! This was wonderful news. Vex’ahlia would absolutely abandon her crush on Jarett now. Or so Vax thought, until she perked up at this bit of information, using her flirty voice. “Oh, really?” 

_Whatever_. Vax intended to use this information against Jarett with Gilmore. A fine, upstanding merchant like himself would not want a criminal around. Probably. Secretly, Vax congratulated himself that he’d always known, somehow, that Jarett was a bad seed.

“They are not very forgiving of broken laws there, and based on certain judgments...let’s just say a slap on the wrist usually takes the wrist with it.” Vax blinked. That was good to know.

“What did you do?” Vex’ahlia asked, her body posture suddenly inviting, her tone intrigued. What in hell was wrong with her?

“Whatever was needed for survival,” Jarett said, showing no shame for his past actions. Grog nodded sympathetically as if to say ‘crime is sometimes unavoidable.’ Which was true about Grog’s past, certainly, but all of their pasts, if they were being honest. 

“Well, we’re going there,” Vax said. 

“Great,” Jarett replied, not looking thrilled.

“So I’m hoping either you can give us a lot of tips,” Vax continued.

“Mmhm.” 

“So we don’t run into problems, or...I don’t know if anyone can take your place right now.” Actually, this was a brilliant idea. Jarett couldn’t seduce Gilmore while they were away if he came with them. And they’d have all of the information they needed about the city at their fingertips. Not to mention a translator! “Do you want to go on a field trip?” 

“To Ank’Harel?” Jarett asked, incredulous.

“Yeah,” Vax said.

“No!” Jarett replied emphatically, continuing when Vox Machina reacted with surprise at his immediate refusal. “I’m sorry--I respect this--I think my strength and skill set is much better used here than in the Scarlet Prison beneath the Cerulean Palace.”

“Fair point,” Vax told him. “Fair point.” Whatever Jarett had done, it must have been pretty bad to warrant life in prison. Maybe he was just a shady bitch at heart, but Vax was eating this up. 

“I do not want to even conjecture spending the rest of my life there…”

“Pretend we didn’t ask,” Vex said, but Jarett was still rambling, clearly terrified by the prospect of returning to his homeland. 

“...or in pieces--also possible.”

“So we need all the knowledge in your head in ours,” Vax said. Jarett had to be useful in some way, at least, if he refused to leave Whitestone. Vax still maintained it had been a brilliant idea to take him along with them. 

Probably on the same wavelength that he was, Keyleth started questioning Jarett about the Scarlet Prison. He rambled a bit about Ank’Harel’s criminal justice system and the ruler. Vax didn’t listen too carefully; he knew the girls were taking notes. He came back to the conversation, though, when Jarett looked straight at him and said, “Don’t steal anything unless you are damn sure nobody knows of it.” 

Vax was offended. What about him said ‘I steal things?’ “I haven’t stolen anything in years!” Vax declared, ironically.

Grog did none of them a favor by coughing the word “Vex” at that very moment, though both girls immediately declared they didn’t steal things. That would have made even Vax suspicious, and he had the sinking feeling Jarett might be more clever than he was. At least in his own language.

His sister quickly moved on to ask about the Den of Drujah, and Jarett said that was an old tale of a gang that had disbanded decades ago. _So much for that clue, sphinx._

Scanlan asked about the emperor of the city, and Vax listened, because Scanlan was the most clever of all. If he was asking, it was probably important to know. There seemed to be a whole mythology around this figure. If it was true, they were hundreds of years old. Maybe even a demi-god. Vax didn’t buy that. Jarett said he suspected it was just a title, and that made more sense to Vax. Why would a powerful being hundreds of years old choose to live in a boring old desert? And never show their face to anyone? 

Scanlan also asked about the Hand of Ord, which was probably good to know, as they sounded like the local law keepers. And Shandal, the place Gilmore came from; Vax did wonder about that. Jarett described it as a small, nothing special kind of town far from the big city. Vax could imagine Gilmore coming from a place like that. A rare jewel hidden in an ugly rock. No wonder he’d moved to Tal’Dorei. 

So Shandal was a podunk compared to the size of Ank’Harel. How big was Ank’Harel? “On par with Emon, the city, or bigger or smaller?” Vax asked Jarett.

“Oh, Emon?” Jarett thought about it. “Comparable. A bit bigger.” 

“Wow. Shit,” Vex’ahlia said, echoing Vax’s thoughts. A metropolis in the desert? Seemed hard to believe. 

Kiki and Percy immediately began to argue about strategy once they arrived, but Vex ignored them, asking if Jarett knew about the one-eyed merchant. He didn’t seem to know. 

“And you’re sure we can’t talk you into going?” Vax said, giving it one more try. He couldn’t say why, but he just didn’t like the idea of Gilmore possibly taking Jarett into his bed while they were gone. Why did it have to be Jarett? “Percy’s giving out titles.” Maybe that would entice him. 

Jarett smiled, and it only made his stupid handsome face more handsome. “I have no interest in titles. I just wish to stay alive. I’m sorry. I am much more of use to you here, I assure you.” Vax snickered at how perturbed this was making Jarett. Was he enjoying Jarett’s discomfort? Maybe a little. But Kiki was giggling, too. And she was a good person.

“I would be a perpetually nervous paranoid wreck if I were to come with you,” Jarett finished. 

“Understood.” Vax finally let it go. 

“I can’t even imagine you like that,” Vex’ahlia said, making eyes at him. Disgusting. 

“Good.” Jarett made eyes right back at her. What cheek! “We’ll keep it that way.”

Vax quietly brooded on his dark thoughts while Keyleth asked something about water. He wasn’t really listening. “Perpetual Oasis. Source of power.” Through the haze, Vax heard Grog speaking distinctly, as if that was something important. But knowing Grog, it probably wasn’t. Why couldn’t Gilmore have agreed to be with Grog instead of insisting on Jarett? 

Vax was annoyed again. He just wanted to get going. So he summed up: “No stealing. Got it. Water is valuable. Is there anything that’s offensive? We don’t want to offend anyone by accident.” But maybe Vax was a little curious about what might culturally offend Jarett on purpose. For future reference. 

“To be honest, anything you do will offend somebody in the right place, right time,” Jarett said, being damnably sensible. “But people are pretty laid back in Ank’Harel, as long as you follow the rules.” That made Vax picture a city full of Gilmores, which was...exciting. 

“It’s a beautiful city. I’m actually excited for you to see it. I’m very proud of it. Had I not made some mistakes…” Jarett trailed off, looking genuinely regretful. 

“Can we bring you anything back?” Vax asked, feeling a little guilty about how mean his thoughts had been through this whole exchange. 

Jarett considered it for a moment before replying. “You know what? If you can, there is a special spice that is harvested not far from the city. If you could find me some fusaka spice? Bring me a small--not a lot, just a bit.”

“Is it for food, or…?” Grog asked. 

“It’s for food, yes.” 

“I would love to do that,” Vax said, trying to be nice. “We’ll keep an eye out.” Jarett said the spice was expensive, and began to give them coin for it, but all of them insisted he not pay them for it. “No, you’ve done _way_ too much for us,” Vax told him. 

“Fair trade,” Percy insisted.

“Fair trade,” Vax echoed.

“Alright, well. I appreciate it,” Jarett said, taking fingers out of his purse and suddenly looking like he’d only offered to be polite. Tricky bastard. 

After an awkward silence, Vex’ahlia decided to do some more butt-kissing, practicing the new Marquesian greeting Jarett had just taught them. “Be pleased.” When Jarett chuckled at her effort, she said, “We’ll work on it.”

“Work on it for a bit, maybe watch some folks. You’ll pick it up right quick, just pay attention.” Jarett advised. 

“Alright, well? Shall we?” Scanlan asked. 

“Let’s go change, and then let’s be off.” Percy had to have the last word. He always seemed to think he was in charge. 

“Alright. Be safe, friends. I look forward to your return,” Jarett said.

But Vex just couldn’t leave without making eyes at Jarett one last time. “Keep everyone safe?” To be fair, Vax should have made vomiting noises the way Vex did whenever she saw him with Keyleth. 

“Well,” Jarett made eyes back, again. “That is my purpose,” he said with feigned humility. 

Before they could leave, Kiki took Vax’s hand. “And Jarett,” she said deliberately. “Will you keep an eye on Gilmore for us?” It was possible Vax had whined to her ad infinitum about Gilmore requesting Jarett for his second while they were away. Vax was both annoyed and grateful that she’d brought it up. He could tell now, his jealousy wouldn’t have allowed him to make the request, and Gilmore really needed looking after right now. Badly. 

As she spoke, Vax watched Jarett’s reaction closely. Maybe he didn’t care for Gilmore. It was possible he had no idea the flashy mage found him attractive. But as Vax watched, Jarett frowned with concern. “Is he alright?” Not a stranger’s response. 

“I think he’s just working himself a bit much,” Keyleth said. 

“Stretched a little thin,” Vax added. 

Jarett sighed. “I may have noticed it myself.” Oh really? So he watched Gilmore close enough to notice changes in his energy levels? Why that little--

Jarett nodded, looking Vax right in the eye. “I will do this for you.” 

Vax didn’t like the way he said it. He could tell from the look in Jarett’s eye that he knew exactly what was going on, and he planned to take full advantage of the opportunity. “Promise,” Jarett finished.

“Thank you,” Keyleth said, probably having no clue of the undercurrent of the conversation. Vax’s eyes narrowed, still picking apart Jarett’s poker face. 

“My pleasure.” Was he trying to bait Vax? Because Vax did want to fight him a little. But then Kiki was squeezing his hand, and he let the anger go. It was time to leave.

The rest of them were chattering about the quest ahead and making dumb jokes, but Vax wasn’t listening. He was sure he could **feel** Jarett’s smug gaze boring into his back as they walked away. 


End file.
